Mormon Dating Rules (Explained for Non-Mormon Teens!)

dating-couple

So you’re thinking of dating a Mormon, eh?  Good choice.  I’m bias, but I find most Mormons are very cheerful people who care about others.

If you’re dating a teenage Mormon, there are quite a few things to know.  First, we’ll talk about the rules, but then we’ll get into the more important things that will help you understand where they are coming from.

Required Mormon Dating Rules

The official Mormon dating rules can be found in For the Strength of Youth, but I’ll do my best to explain them in layman’s terms here.

  • Nope.  If it’s what you’re wondering, no.  Mormons do not have sex before marriage.  Period.
  • No dating before age 16.
  • Date only people who have high moral standards.
  • Date in groups.  You go with one person, and join up with another couple for planned dates.
  • Avoid going on frequent dates with the same person.  This doesn’t mean you can’t hang out with the same person often as friends, but it means if you’re hooked up, you have to be careful about spending too much time together, because it often leads to… well… feeling too comfortable around each other.

That’s Only Half the Story

The “Rules” for Mormon dating are only half of the story.  You can understand those rules and still have no idea what your teenage Mormon friend is thinking.

I want to explain a Mormon belief that is central to our beliefs that is responsible for just about every dating decision we make.

Eternal Marriage.

Eternal marriage means that Mormons believe that if we are married with proper Priesthood authority (in a Mormon temple) then God will honor our marriage not just on earth, but also after we die and are in Heaven.

So the whole point of the rules above are to help Mormons to keep from disobeying God’s commandments about morality and sex, so that when they decide to marry later on in life, they can marry for eternity.

If you understand that, you’ll understand something else, too.  The “rules” mentioned above are just the base guidelines for dating.  They are the bright-line, never-compromise standards.  It’s the minimum acceptable code of conduct.

The Individual Standards for Mormon Dating

Since Mormons strive to meet the goal of eternal marriage, they also make their own individual standards to help them to stay chaste (sexually pure).

The following are some examples.

  • Some Mormons may choose not to kiss anyone while in high school and will wait until they are ready to date seriously in consideration of marriage later on.  Others, will be completely fine with it, but wouldn’t get into any passionate, heavy kissing.
  • Some Mormons may choose not to develop a relationship to the point of calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend, but others may see that as acceptable as long as it is kept within certain bounds.
  • Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

Knowing Where the Line Is

What’s the best way to know what is okay and what isn’t when dating a Mormon?  Don’t be so weird about it!  If you want to know, then just ask the girl or guy.  It’s not rude.  It shows great respect for their decisions and goals.

One last thing.  If you really care about the Mormon you’d like to date, the easiest and quickest way to understand them at a deeper level is to understand the beliefs that are central to the way they live.  Ask your friend if you can talk with some missionaries, or check out Mormon.org, which has more information than you can shake a stick at.

 

 

Jim Harmer

I own an online company where I create websites which are read by millions of people. I'm a non-practicing lawyer, husband and a father of three little kiddos. My faith in Christ is the most important aspect of my life, and this blog is where I get to share my beliefs. The rest of the time, I'm riding dirt bikes or traveling the world taking pictures. I live in Star, Idaho where I attend my local congregation of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Each month, over 30,000 people come to this site to learn about the basic beliefs of my religion, and it's my privilege to share about it. The opinions expressed on this website are not necessarily those of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints as this blog is not an official source of church information. However, every effort is put into providing accurate information in support of the church.

84 thoughts on “Mormon Dating Rules (Explained for Non-Mormon Teens!)

  1. I recently started going to Mormon Chapel in Preston, uk.

    I hope to be Baptized soon.

    I like one of the Sisters at the chapel and would like to take her to movies on a date. I hope to marry her in the future but a bit shy to ask her on date,due to my slight Aspergers.

    What is best way to ask her,while respecting her beliefs?

    1. It wouldn’t be rude or disrespectful at all to ask out a Mormon on a date–even if you are not a member of the church. Just call her up and ask her if she’d like to go with you. It’s that simple. After reading this blog post, you already know what things to be aware of and how to make sure your actions don’t conflict with her beliefs. It’s wonderful that you too are learning the beliefs that this sister also holds. Good luck to you!

      1. There is this Mormon boy that i really like and i think he likes me but i totally respect that he can’t date until the age of 16 i just feel like his parents or the church won’t except me because i’m christian.

        1. Mormons are very accepting people and you should just go with your gut instinct. It doesn’t matter what religion you are, Mormons accept. I would know. I am one 🙂

          1. I just went to a football game with this girl that is mormon, shes a really nice girl and I’d like to spend time with her again. But she cant date until shes 16, she had told me though that she wants to move out when she turns 18, so idk. We are both 15. Can she still go out with me?

    2. I wish to date a mormon possibly in the future but I am scared that the mormon church wont accept me as a christian .

          1. The definition of a Christian is “A person who follows and believes in Jesus Christ.” The name of our church is The church of JESUS CHRIST of latter-day saints.

            We believe in Jesus. We seek to follow Jesus. We believe that the only way we can be saved in the kingdom of God is by and through the power of Jesus Christ. That is, by very definition, Christian.

            I’ll never understand why good Christian people would seek to convince others they are NOT believers in Christ. Didn’t Christ spend his entire life doing the exact opposite of that?

            I’ve written about that here. https://purposeinchrist.com/trinity/

      1. There’s one thing people don’t understand about Mormons .Mormon is no t another form of religion ,we are also Christians , followers of Christ ,we follow the teachings of Christ .Also the word Mormon is an Egyptian name which means more blessings more righteousness .Mormon is a prophet ,a historian that abridged the book of Mormon.
        And I testify to you that the church is true ,also that book of Mormon is true ,and I testify unto you that if you feast upon the word of Christ,the word of Christ Will Tell ye all things which ye should do ,this I testify humbly in the name of Jesus Christ.Amen

    1. @Sarah – I honestly can’t answer that for you. The prophets have given us their advice in the For the Strength of Youth, which is what I refer to in this article. The Church doesn’t want to make your life decisions for you. You take the words they say and the spirit of those commandments and choose what is right for you.

      For me PERSONALLY, I wouldn’t have wanted to have kissed when I was 12. The younger you get too familiar with the other gender, the less a kiss will mean to you later on when you’re ready to choose someone to marry.

      1. I have a crush in the 7th grade but I really like him if it is okay with him and Mormon rules could we date but not push the relationship to far

  2. I happen to have a friend that is Mormon. He also happens so be in a relationship with a girl but have never been on a date. He is thirteen and he calls the girl his girlfriend. Me being Christian I don’t really know much about the specifics of Mormonism, but is him calling her his girlfriend kind of “against the rules”? It’s been bothering me and I wanted to see if it was true.

    1. Hey Christian,

      Thank you for taking the time to learn about our beliefs. That’s cool of you. We believe in following the guidance of our prophet, and that’s what I’ve shared on this page. Everything else is really up to the personal choices of members of our church.

      It’s good for you to encourage your friend to do what is right, but also remember that we are all different and don’t have any business judging each other.

  3. Hi,
    I’m a Mormon youth (16) and on the flipside of who this article is designed for. I am dating this boy, who isn’t a member. I have deep feelings with him but I don’t like how people are treating me when I say I am dating a non-member. I’ve talked with him about WOW, sex and other standards and he respects them, even encourages them. How can I explain that he respects me and is there for me, he just isn’t a member? The worst part is that I’m a convert (as of age 7) so people undermine me for that as well.
    Sorry if this makes no sense

    1. @Clover – Makes perfect sense to me. It sounds to me like you feel confident that you are doing what is right, but that your main concern is how it appears to others. I understand that feeling, but just remember that other people can make their own choices. YOU act for you. Just do what you think is right and ignore the naysayers.

      Read through For the Strength of Youth, pray, study the scriptures, and YOU decide what is right. Follow the prophet and do what’s right and the opinion of others will matter little.

      You also mentioned that you feel that some look down on you. There will ALWAYS be people who look down on you. People who look down on you because you’re a teenager, because you’re a convert, later because you’re young and they are the old person at the firm, because you’re too fat or too skinny or too serious or too goofy. Your religion is about developing a relationship with Heavenly Father and we ALL have our problems–including those who are prideful and look down on you. Just focus on the Savior.

  4. Hi so my friend and me really really like each other ( ive known him since pre-k), he’s Mormon and i am a Methodist. Hes 15 and i am 14(almost 15). we are both very mature . we both want to respect both of our beliefs but, i really would like to make it official bf and gf. I feel bad hanging around him and his friends (who are all Mormon) when i want to be more then just his friend. I feel this way because my last boyfriend felt embarrassed about me being with him. When he says we can only be good friends till hes 15 does that mean that we are in secret or just no your my friend only and we can only talk online.

    1. @Nessa – I’m glad to hear that you and this boy like each other. That’s a fun time of life. It’s also admirable that you are willing to respect his beliefs as he respects yours.

      I understand that you want to “make it official.” If that conflicts with his belief system, do you care enough about him to wait?

      Life is a long journey. This may feel urgent right now to get a boyfriend and make it official, but I’d just encourage you to ENJOY BEING A TEENAGER and not feel it too much of a rush to be in a relationship. Just REALLY HAVE FUN together. Hang out all the time. Be with other people and friends. Once you pair off, others will never treat the two of you the same way when you’re in a room together.

  5. Is there any rule about dating someone younger or older than you as a teen? Like if I am 17 and the girl is 16, is that ok?

  6. Hello my name is Leo, I am 14 years old (almost 15). I am Christian and I am sort of dating this girl who is Mormon, and she is 13 years old (almost 14) and I understand the whole dating thing you know, like they cant date till they are 16, I get it and I really respect that. In the beginning when we both started to like each other, she told me that she doesn’t like using the word love because she feels like its for the grown ups, and I respected that and later on I was the first boy she ever said I love you to. but we have been dating for 8 months and all but last week she broke up with me, because her parents don’t like me anymore, but I don’t know what I did wrong honestly, I wanted to respect her, her parents rules. before we do things like hugging, holding hands and etc I always ask her is it okay. But I just need help because I really care for this girl and I don’t know what to do honestly, like what can I do to gain her parents trust again? And how would I know if she just wants to be friends or?? cause I’m new to dating a Mormon its like my first time.

    1. Hey Leo,

      You sound like a good guy who really respects this girl. Would you be grown up enough to simply go meet her parents and ask them how you can best respect their wishes for their daughter, and for you to still be able to be close to her?

      If you really respect her, then be brave enough to simply talk to her parents and learn from them how you can navigate the relationship. They have been where you are, and could help you and her to do this right.

  7. Hi Jim,

    First, thanks a lot for your blog. I’ve just found out, that my good friend is a Mormon (22yrs old; unfortunatelly, he’s never talked about it before with me… don’t you know why is he keeping it as a “secret”?), so this really helps me to understand his beliefs.

    I love when you said “You can understand those rules and still have no idea what your teenage Mormon friend is thinking.” I totally found myself in this. How can I recognize what is he really expecting? One day he calls me “bro”, the other day he texts me “sweet dreams” or “good morning” or make a surprise you’d expect only from your real boyfriend. It makes me so confused!! But now, I finally know, what the reason propaply is.

    And also – Can a non-religious person (as me) marry a Mormon? Are there any “problems” connected with that?

    Thank you!

    1. Hi Andy, Yes, a non-Mormon “can” marry a Mormon. We fall in love with people of all religions just as anyone does.

      However, you’ll often find that Mormons marry each other. Why? Because we believe in eternal marriage. We believe that marriages we make on earth will be forever–that our families will be together in heaven as well. However, God requires us to make certain promises to him in order to receive that blessing. Those promises can be made in our temples.

      Mormons, who believe in eternal marriage, want to find a partner who is willing to live by God’s laws and promise to do so in the temple. A Mormon may certainly marry someone who is a non-Mormon, but they will always want that person to prepare to go with them to the temple and become married for eternity.

  8. Hi, I have a question.
    I’m a Mormon guy with a strong testimony, and I will not give up my standards. After 3 years of homeschooling, I get put into grade 9 high school ( I’m 14). I’ve been here for about 2 weeks, and already a year 10 girl likes me and a year 9 girl says she loves me every time we meet. I haven’t told them I’m Mormon and I don’t know what to do or how to reply to that year 9 gal… I’ve prayed and I felt to ask her ” why do you love me? ” I don’t know plz reply. 🙂

    1. Hi!
      I think you should definitely ask… never ignore the promptings of the Holy Ghost 🙂 If she’s serious about you, explain to her how we’re not advised to date until we’re 16, and that you can still be friends with her.

  9. I’m 13 and a Mormon and the boy I like is 16 and I feel like he likes me as well. So if we date is that okay?

    1. @Jessica – The counsel from the prophet is to not date until you are 16. I know it feels like the most important thing in the world right now, but both of you will be a lot better off if you follow the teachings of the prophet.

  10. Hello, i have a question
    my cousin was a christian until she decided to have a seriously relationship with a Mormon boy but now she has converted to being a Mormon like him and she has also been baptised. I’m unfamiliar with this religion and was just wondering if this was normal when the couple is beginning to think of marriage.

    1. @Mia – Thanks for your message and your concern for your cousin. There is no rule or anything that requires Mormons to only date Mormons. However, we believe that families can be together when married with God’s power. For this to happen, the couple must follow God’s commandments to be prepared for making those commitments. One of the preparations for that is baptism–the first promise we make to God.

      So yes, it’s normal for a couple who wants to be married for eternity in the church to begin this process by both of them taking on the promise of baptism.

  11. Hey, I am 15 and I really like this girl who is Mormon, she is also 15 and I realize that there is a rule that she has to wait until she is 16 before she can date. Can you go over the rules just a little bit more for that portion of it? Thank you.

  12. Hi, these advices are so helpful. So i have a question. I have a girlfriend. We are in relationship(6months). Can we kissing ???

  13. Hey so I think I love this boy.. And I think he feels the same about me, but we’re both 13. Is it wrong to love someone at this age? Because after reading articles like this they keep saying like “Don’t love someone in your teens.” And “Getting too close with someone is wrong before 20” This got me all confused like, seriously? It’s not like I can control how much someone means to me! He was the only person that made me happy back when I was depressed so yeah, of course I love him for that. But now I’m feeling all guilty about loving him because of this, so I need confirmation, is it wrong that I love someone at age 13?

    1. There certainly isn’t anything wrong with being in love, Rissa. No one is asking you to not love him. However, God’s prophets have asked members of our church to simply delay forming steady dating relationships while in high school.

      You can still love him. You can still be around him. You can still be friends and do things together. But that doesn’t mean you have to be boyfriend and girlfriend.

  14. Hi, i have a question. I am a 19yr old male and in love with this 18yr old girl who is mormon. The thing is, i am not a mormon. I dont have any religious affiliation. From what i read and what she told me, Mormons primary goal is to be sealed inside a temple to be together for eternity. Only problem is, I dont think i can give that to her. I have a meeting with missionaires and maybe they can lead me toward mormonism but i wouldn’t count on it. I love her and she loves me but i dont want to stand in the way of her beliefs and goal to be sealed. Any advice?

    1. Hi Anthony,

      I can see what a difficult quandary you’re facing. I recently read a story from someone who was in your EXACT same situation. Listen to this short story. I really think it will help you. https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2017/04/to-the-friends-and-investigators-of-the-church?lang=eng

      Jim Harmer

  15. Hi..
    I’m 14 and the boy I like is a year and half older than me and is almost 16 (he turns 16 in five months) . He is a Mormon and I honestly don’t know what I believe in. Im very worried I’m going to push boundaries because I barely know anything about the religion. I want to fully respect him and his religion, so what would be “pushing it too far”?

  16. So I like this boy we are both Mormon and we like eachother I’m 14 and he is 13 is it wrong for us to kiss on the check but we decided we would remain friends

  17. I am dating a mormon guy and we are both 15, we just started dating and i am trying to learn more about this religion. What should i do? is it okay to hold hand, kiss on the cheek and maybe kiss?

    1. Hi Kasey, Thank you for being so respectful as to learn about his religion. The best thing you can do is to simply ask him what he is comfortable with.

      Very cool of you to research this.

  18. Hi,
    My “boyfriend” is Mormon and he’s 14 years of age. I’m 13. I know it’s super wrong for him to date at his age, and on top of that, me being a nonmormon, but we really care about each other? I’m just a little bit confused because his parents know as well, and they seem fine with it. We’re kind of, I guess you could call it, exclusive, but I’m wondering if I should stop it here and let him figure out if he wants to continue our relationship or see some other people, or stop dating altogether even though I know that if I told him we should “break-up” he would be really upset. I totally respect his religion, and I do think it’s wrong for us to be dating, but we really just kind of clicked, y’know?
    Thank you!

    1. Kat – That was a very mature comment from you. Thank you for being so respectful of his beliefs. I would encourage you to keep your relationship casual and friendly during high school. It’s wonderful that you care about each other. If that’s true, then I think you may find that just being best friends at your age is likely a better choice for both of you. If you continue really liking each other later on, then you will have shown respect for one another while you’re young that it will create a healthier relationship later on. Studies have shown repeatedly that developing very serious relationships at a young age leads to immorality and a higher temptation for compromising one’s values.

  19. I really like this Mormon boy and i talk to him somewhat often but I’m not sure about how he feels about me even though he’s under age… I want to get closer to him but I’m not sure if that would be weird since he can’t date yet… also I’m not sure if he’s very strict Mormon or more layer back but I’m not sure what to do

  20. Im a Mormon, I’ve recently become really close friends with this boy in my school. He isn’t a member, however he also has very strict morals on being sexually pure. We are both 16 and really like each other and want to make it “official” and “exclusive” but I’ve been hesitant because of the rule that states that you can only double date at my age… Does him also having really strong values change anything?

  21. Hey Jim! This article really helped for me in my current situation. I’m in middle school and a little too young and unexperienced to be dating. But, there is this mormon girl I go to school with who I really like and so I gave her a valentine. She accepted this, and later told me that she was having a hard time talking to me because she liked me too! I was so happy, but I knew she was mormon from asking one of her friends ( who is also morman). I’m trying to figure out what to do and I know these rules that Mormons can’t take till they are 16 and I 100% respect that. However, I’m wondering if I should wait until she is 16 in high school and then start making moves towards her when I’m ready enough to do so? I’m wondering what I should do because I have two high schools that I can go to, and the one I want to will not have her in it. But I’m wondering what I should do because the high school that she will be going to is different and I’m not sure which one I should go to. If I was going to the one that she is going to, I would be going for my friends and her. However, if I was going to the other high school I wouldn’t know anybody, but I am familiar with the school because someone I knew went there. What do I do?

    1. Hi Griffin,

      Thank you for your comment which clearly shows you have a respect for this person’s beliefs. I encourage you to come out of your shell and simply become a close friend with this person who you like, and who likes you back. It’s wonderful that you like each other, but that hardly means you have to turn the relationship serious. Just be great friends while you’re still so young.

  22. I recently bumped into these Mormon missionaries, and one of the Elders and I get along really well.

    My friend is convinced he has a crush on me. As he’ll text me when he’s finished his day or tell me when he can go have dinner so we will meet up and just talk.

    I’m 18, and he’s 19. And he’s fully aware of I’m agnostic. But I’m afraid to like him as I can see his religion is such a big part of his life. He also has 5 months of his mission left so that too is constantly in the back of my mind.

    Should I stop entertaining this friendship or whatever it is?

    1. Missionaries focus on the church and not on romantic relationships. The most respectful thing you could do would be to not encourage any romantic relationship while he is a missionary.

  23. so I want to be open to dating is about to be 14 but I’m Mormon and I LOVE it and I’m just confused because…. okay so the problem is ….. I don’t know if I’m allowed to kiss or go to the movies or dinner etc. without feeling guilty about it, well actually I haven’t really done it but what I’m wondering is this. is it okay to kiss ( not heavily at all) or go out with someone since in under 16?

  24. Hey so I’m 15 almost 16 and I really like this Mormon boy and he’s 16 but I just wanted to know if Mormons can date someone that’s under 16

  25. Hi, i’m not mormon but my bf is. we’ve been secretly dating ever since i was 12 and he’s 13 .. at first 2 years of our relationship i didn’t really know that he’s mormon and i didn’t know about the rules we already shared our first kiss and everything except that (you know what i mean), i just found out when i started sharing him about my religion .. i’m 18 now and he’s 19 and we’re still secretly dating he’s about to go on a mission this coming april…. i know it’s not allowed to date while you’re on a mission but he never asked me to break up with him… should i break up with him so he can be more focus on his calling?
    ..
    also we’re in a long distance relationship for a year now because my family decided to migrate in other country..

    1. also he’s my first boyfriend, and i’m his first girlfriend too .. i know we’re both too young when we started dating and still too young about worrying about this kind of things.. but we’re very serious about our relationship

  26. I am 14 years old and mormon and I recently met this 15 year old mormon boy who I feel very strongly for and he feels the same towards me. We have been talking everyday for over 2 months but he is turning 16 soon. I am very nervous that he may begin to date other girls and I would be heartbroken. I am not exactly sure what to do and I am very nervous because he is a year and 1 month older than me so if he did wait for me it would be a very long time. Any advice? Also is it okay to kiss before turning 16?

  27. Hi Jim, I really like this Mormon boy…. He is very nice and funny, but would he maybe still like me even though I’m an atheist? ?

  28. So, I like this guy who’s Mormon. He’s 16 and so am I. But there are two problems I’ve been having so I wanted to ask.
    I’m an atheist so I have no religious affiliation, would that be okay?
    also
    My friends are telling me he and I can’t officially date until his parents set up a formal date for us because it’s a mormon belief. Is this true?

    1. It’s up to him whether he’d date you or not, just talk to him about it and let him know about your concerns, ask him what his thoughts are. His parents don’t have to set up an official date for y’all, you can set up a date or just start dating, but really it comes down to what he’d be comfortable with. I have some friends who are dating but never went on an “official date” so that’s up to y’all. Hope this helped 🙂

  29. Hi! I know this can be a bit of an awkward question. But I’m an LDS girl (16) and I’ve always wondered if it’s a sin to date/eventually marry a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th cousin. I’ve heard that it would depend on the state. I’m also worried that my parents would think badly of me for even asking a question like this. Do you know a bit more about how this works? And any advice about my parents?

    1. Hi Katherine, I would just open up about this with your parents. You are right that state laws differ on this topic, so it may depend. However, most people have no idea who their 3rd and fourth cousins are, so there’s a good chance someone that distant wouldn’t be an issue.

  30. Hey, my name is John. Im 13 years old and an atheist (sorry). I have quite a few friends who are Mormon, but I could never quite understand the dating rules. After reading through the comments, I’m starting to think that its up to the individual members although dating is frowned upon before 16. Care to confirm anything? Thanks

    1. I will confirm that it is up to the individual to be obedient to any of the principles or laws. Agency is very important to what we believe in, we can’t force anyone to follow anything. It is up to the individual to decide whether they trust God enough to make good decisions.

  31. Okay.

    I’m a newly converted member of the church, and I have a question regarding dating Mormons.

    So there’s a sister at the church which I attend. I really like her, but I’m afraid that my lack of knowledge about Mormon dating customs will ruin any chance of us being happy together. What are some big “NoNo’s” when it comes to dating a Mormon, compared with dating someone who isn’t a Mormon?

  32. Okay. So I’m a newly converted member of the LDS Church. I like this girl who has been a member of the Church since birth. I’m a little nervous about asking her out as I’m afraid that I’m going to do something wrong that will put her off while on the date. What kind of advice do you have regarding what is considered acceptable behaviour on a date. (I know about the Law of Chastity and stuff but I’m a bit fuzzy on the specifics of what IS appropriate.)

  33. I’m a Mormon and I really like this girl who is a non-member and she likes me. I have a lot of fun talking to her and hanging out, but she told her friend she wanted me to do more, like actually date her seriously. I was talking to her friend about how I should approach this since I don’t want to be in a serious relationship before my mission, and unfortunately she told the girl I liked, who immediately told me she would back off and didn’t want to “ruin my mission or interfere with my religion.”

    I tried to explain how we feel about dating and that we can still date and have fun, just not seriosuly, but to her this seemed like we just try to hide relationships, especially when being allowed to kiss got brought up, yet we’re still supposed to date multiple people, not just one. I really liked her and now she is ignoring me and I’m even more confused. Is it ok to like one person before a mission if you’re not like ignoring other friends or girls? When is it ever ok to kiss a girl if you’re not supposed to be in a serious relationship? If I follow the law of chastity completly can try to make the dates more about having fun, are single dates and more serious dating allowed?

    Honestly this is making me want to date even less because rn it feels like a chore and that everyone is expecting me to go on dates with every single girl in are stake and never actually like anyone. Just be a gentleman and make everyone feel good no matter how weird or hard to be around or the girl is and how unenjoyable the date would be for me. I’ve asked my parents but they don’t know the answer, especially since they both had “boyfriends” or “girlfriends” during their high school years. I’m just trying to do the right thing but I feel like I’ve really messed up and ruined my relationship with this girl who’s already been through a lot. I need help.

    1. Colby, thank you for your message. I am really impressed by your faith and positive attitude about this situation–even if it is perplexing. I recall having many of the same questions as a teenager.

      Here is a relevant portion of the standard from For the Strength of Youth: “You should not date until you are at least 16 years old. When you begin dating, go with one or more additional couples. Avoid going on frequent dates with the same person. Developing serious relationships too early in life can limit the number of other people you meet and can perhaps lead to immorality. Invite your parents to become acquainted with those you date.”

      It seems to me that the standard is far more aimed toward an objective than a specific set of do’s and don’ts. Each of the specific standards such as not dating before 16 are important. Once you’ve followed those, then it is time for you to receive revelation on how to apply the objectives for yourself.

      Your question seems to be how you could have a girl like you, and you like her, and possibly even have a relationship and kiss, while not running afoul of the Lord’s commandment. I don’t see a clear answer to your question.

      Generally, when I don’t see a specific answer to a question about a commandment, I feel that the answer is that the Lord wants us to receive personal revelation. Have you inquired of the Lord? Have you taken advantage of fasting? Have you gone to the Lord’s House to ask Him?

      I admire your faith. The Lord will help you to know what is right.

  34. One of my best friends is a Mormon and we have dated for three months but a month ago we chose to end it because of the rule of dating at 16, we are both 15. We are still friends and close and everything but the other day he tried to kiss me, should I ask him what’s going on, or should I leave it be he has done this three times, should I be worried? I go to church with either him or my other friends who are Mormon I just don’t understand why he says he can’t do or say certain things then he does them.Last thing should I be embarrassed to go near his family or anything because I know his mom hates and likes me I just get scared.

    1. Hi Kali. I can see why this would be a confusing situation for you. I think you may do best by simply telling him that you want to support him in his beliefs but are unsure of what you should do.

    1. Then you just gotta keep living life and maybe you guys will end up seeing each other again but talk to the parents of the Mormon kid it’s the best idea

    2. I can understand why this may seem harsh or difficult. I do not know the individual circumstances you are in, but I will say that honoring a righteous father and mother is an important commandment.

  35. Hi. I really like this boy who is Mormon. I like him more than I have ever liked anyone. We are both 17 and I am a non-member. We both admitted we liked each other a while ago and have just been talking since. I don’t mind going on dates with groups or just talking but although I know I’m okay with it now I know later on I will want a relationship. Should I just tell him that we should just stay friends? I feel torn because I like him a lot but I know he can’t be involved in any serious relationships until after his mission.

    1. Okay so is that his parents rules that he can’t date till after his mission? Because most of the men when they get back they go to colleg and get married at a young age to start families and most of them start to date at the age 16 so talk to him and his family beliefs

  36. I like this boy who is Mormon. I don’t really know much about him but I would like to ask him on a date. He is 16 and I am 15. I don’t know if it is right for me to do that since I don’t really know what the Mormon rules are on gay couples. Are Mormon boys allowed to date other boys that are younger than them?

    1. i like this amazing mormon but im christen and i wanted to know about marrege rules and if your able to be both religiouns

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